Applying to the Upper School: Grades 9-12

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Coming off of a wonderful opportunity to hear from Jennifer Wallace (author of Never Enough) about both the pressure our kids feel to achieve and how a strong sense of “mattering” can act as a buffer to that pressure, this experience got me thinking about what this practice looks like in the older children that I have the opportunity to work with each day. What “risky” means changes as kids get older. While things like flights of stairs and crossing the street may have, at one point, been the biggest danger to our children’s safety, as they grow those dangers fade and new ones emerge. Instead of worrying about our children’s physical safety, we begin to worry more about whether their future is “safe”. Will they achieve in school? Get into the college of their (our?) dreams?  Be successful adults? 

What it takes to ensure that our children feel a sense of mattering also changes as they grow. It’s not enough to simply cheer them on and celebrate their accomplishments, we need to ensure that regardless of whether they succeed or fail (make it to the top of the boulder or come crashing down) they know that we love them and see them for the wonderful humans that they are - and are becoming. If the philosophy that allows our kids to do risky things safely guides our parenting when they are young - shouldn’t it also be a guide as they grow up? What does it mean to encourage our big kids to do risky things safely? 

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